Chapter 6 but who's counting?

In a move that dazzled even himself, Rasputin transferred the 'Fleas of Jesus' to a woman named Joan, another fictional character who was better equipped to assist them in their mission. With the invasion less than a month away Rasputin set up a command center in the remains of what had once been a movie theater located in downtown Farmville.

The theater, once named the Bijou, had been built in downtown Farmville in 1928. Over the years it had been a movie theater, an Elks Lodge, a movie theater again this time playing x rated films at midnight (with usherettes who wore pasties and g-strings) and finally a bingo parlor. Abandoned for eight years it had be...en inhabited by a family of raccoons who negotiated to keep the balcony when Rasputin moved in.

Vowing to get the revolution back on schedule, Rasputin dressed up in his band leader's uniform only to realize that the supplier had mislabeled the package and that he was now an admiral in the Italian Navy. Even worse, the sailor's suits were cute, and well cut, but not appropriate for brass instruments.

The Admirals uniform fit as though it had been tailored for Rasputin, though there was a bit of trouble with the hat That was to be expected though, and a couple of holes could accommodate his ears. For a few minutes he imagined himself of the bridge of his flagship cruising the Med. It could be a grand life, perhap...s better even than the headaches which would come once he assumed the throne of Farmville.

Being an admiral had its perks, though the residents of farmville were a little slow to salute. This caused Rasputin to spend a little time contemplating which gestures acknowledging his rank and power he would like to instill in his subjects. The single finger would be easiest but was not at all what he had in mind,... the kowtow was a little too extreme except when he was especially beneficent.

Being an admiral had its downside too Rasputin discovered when he was informed that Italy was on the verge of a war with Albania over fishing rights and other issues which had been simmering for eight hundred years, and that he was expected to take his ship into the middle of a minefield to show that they would not be intimidated.
"There has been a mistake," he said.
"No mistake," said his adjutant who ushered him to the bridge of a battleship which was suspiciously devoid of sailors.

Alone on the bridge of a battleship headed for a minefield, Rasputin tried to alter course, but found the rudder locked. In an attempt to stave off panic he ran in circles until he bumped the engine controls and discovered that be could control course by reversing one of the engines.Though a cumbersome way to steer a ship, he had a large body of water to experiment in and decided he would attempt to bring the massive warship back to farmville to support his revolution.

The list of things Rasputin didn't know about battleships, the ocean, and navigation would put a strain on the servers at Wikipedia. The gps would not take Farmville as a destination. Eventually he spotted a cruise ship on the horizon and decided to follow it. Now knowing where he was going, Rasputin went below to look for the wine cellar.
Unfortunately the battleship was faster than the cruise ship and the distance between them narrowed rapidly.