The word 'chapter' implies a degree of orginization which may have been lost

Awaking to the clang of his cell door opening, Rasputin was greeted with the welcome words, we found a receipt from AC Moore which proves it was a frame. They are letting you go.
The good news ceased when Rasputin opened the envelope containing his belongings, "Where is my invasion plan?" he asked.

The clerk looked at a list and with a bored voice which had taken twenty three years to perfect said, "Not listed here."
Sensing that arguing would be futile, Rasputin left the police station, bought a large bottle of gin, across the street, and wandered until he found a public library where he commandeered a computer a...nd told a librarian who was trying to be helpful, "Someday this table will be in the Smithsonian."

The librarian who had her own bottles of gin secreted in the stacks, nodded. She too had her fantasies and, despite his rather scruffy appearance, this rabbit had a strangely attractive something that kept her from asking if he had a library card.
At home Rasputin had a specially designed keyboard designed to accommoda...te his paws, here he made do with a lot of typos.

From a server deep in Eastern Europe Rasputin unleashed an elite group of Nigerian bankers, who, with a special script, befriended everybody on facebook Then with data purchased from ROTFL Associated he misdirected lurid email to those rated most susceptible and automatically logged them into "The Farmers Daughter", a ...website which had been made to look like Farmville, except it wasn't fields that were being plowed.

The librarian, a woman who built walls of books to keep the world at bay, looked over Rasputin's shoulder and was intrigued as he pushed a teenage girl away from the computer next to his and called up Farmville Cam which showed a seemingly uneventful day, Uneventful until one noticed the armored tractors driving up and... down the roads, patrolling the fields of grass he had planted.

It took Rasputin a second to understand what he was seeing, in the short time he'd spent in dalliance as an admiral had given drug cartels time to move in to farmville. "there goes the neighborhood," he thought realizing that it was a good thing he'd misplaced his invasion plan. He was, he knew going to have to adlib like never before.

There was only one force greater than the drug cartels, and that was their mothers. Rasputin called up his specially designed search engine, and thanking Facebook for its recent addition of specialized groups, he began an ad campaign designed to attract this set of users. Unfortunately they were all distracted havin...g been a primary target of the Nigerian bankers he had just unleashed.

Rasputin had not adequately covered his tracks and his ad campaign got
him a hundred emails promising everything from defenestration to
decapitation.
And he knew that once again defeat had been projectile vomited from the mouth of bulimic victory.

Just when things seemed hopeless the librarian tapped him on the shoulder. "It's my lunch hour, would you like to go to a juice bar?"
Wondering if she would get turned on by the dewey decimal system, Rasputin logged off the computer, but not before taking note of an upcoming convention of Napoleon Re-enactors. "Your n...ame isn't Josephine by any chance," he asked?

This was not the first time Rasputin had drunk himself through a lunch hour and missed a significant appointment, but for once it was fortuitous, because the invasion path was squarely in a cross fire between the cartel and the DEA which had been keeping an eye on facebook since the phrase invasion of privacy was invented.
When he awoke, Rasputin opened his eye to behold another, smaller, eye an inch form his. Fearing the DTs he asked, "Who are you?" not at all sure he wanted an answer, or what one would mean.
A surprisingly bass voice responded, "We have come to help with the invasion, would you like to see some references?"
BBC - Earth News - Cane toads are evolving into super-invaders
news.bbc.co.uk http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_9096000/9096795.stm

The cane toads had a propensity for stealing motorcycles, and wore little leather vests with "Bad Toad" embroidered on it. Their idea of helping with the invasion was taking over, though they threw Rasputin a bone and told him he could be 'spokes-rabbit'. Rasputin's displeasure was muted by his new found relationshi...p with the librarian whose taste in historical re-enactment featured Catherine the Great.

When Rasputin protested to the toads that the invasion had been his idea, one of them said to him, "lick me." Rasputin who was still coming down from an acid trip which had encompassed five continents and two oceans kept his tongue in his mouth. Instead, he returned to the librarian seeking solace only to find her dre...ssed in jodhpurs.
"It's not what you think it is," she said as she laid the riding crop down.

Rasputin's mind was so addled he had no idea what he was thinking. After a long pause he said, "Need more drugs."
The librarian, who long ago had given up on men, scowled, remembering exactly why she had come to this conclusion. Still, she wasn't ready to give up, Rasputin was the closest thing to a sentient companion... she had met in quite a while. Besides, she liked the idea of playing dress-up with Napoleon.

Dispatches from Farmville reported the toads were swiftly consolidating their hop to power. An elite team was working with the programmers, and they were on the verge of unleashing a beta version which would force all the residents of farmville to eat bugs and worms as a part of their daily routine. Rasputin realized... this was good time to stay in the background, and went onto ebay looking for Napoleon accessories

The librarian, who had changed her name to Catherine when she was twenty three, was not in the least bothered by historical inconsistencies. Her experiences with men were such that she was glad to be rid of the species. She was a little concerned though about the prospect of bringing Rasputin to Thanksgiving dinner at her mother's.

Catherine's mother, who was so liberal she had lesbian leanings, immediately got out her old edition of the Joy of Cooking when her daughter broached the subject of bringing a rabbit to Thanksgiving. This was just one more complication for what was a difficult holiday at best - for a number of often dramatic reasons.

Rasputin, for whom Thanksgiving had always been a holiday of misgivings and misanthropy, realized that the invite meant that Catherine envisioned the relationship would last at least 30 days. He hadn't maintained a relationship for that long since his last stretch in county jail.

Reports from Farmville indicated that the cartels were resorting to a ruthless campaign to crush the cane toads with a heavy application of steam rollers. Unfortunately this made the roads so slick with yuck the denizens of Farmville were forced to stay home, and, in doing so, they discovered a new computer game whic...h involved going to a virtual nude beach and spending the day ogling each others imaginary bodies.

Rasputin regains his edge.- installments added chapter ended?

As the battleship closed in on the cruise ship, the radio came alive with questions about intentions. Rasputin, who knew the food on the cruise ship would be better than what he could come up with in the abandoned galley below, asked if he could join them for dinner. He offered to bring a red wine he'd discovered in the hold.

Unbeknown to Rasputin, the cruise ship was hosting a voyage of vegan hedonists who immediately saw in him the leader they had been searching for. When the party got really going and the asparagus was being put to multiple uses they called on him to share his vision.

Rasputin, who realized this crowd was just the sort needed to spice up farmville, stood and spoke of a utopia where the farm animals would not only NOT be eaten, but would be honored members of the community. His speech was cut short when the Captain informed him that he should return to his battleship because another vessel had been spotted, a ship flying a flag the captain had never seen before.

Who would have thought that hedonistic vegans would be so turned on by a battleship, Rasputin mused, as he turned the ship to face the oncoming enemy which turned out to be a coalition of militant carnivores and fanatic gardeners. For many of his volunteer crew this was a holy mission. As they armed the guns they sang Strawberry Fields Forever.

The carnivores opened with a salvo of big macs and then strafed with kilbasa. The gardeners, who objected to the lily salads popular with the more artistic vegans,sent forth a load of compost most ripe.
The vegans were having trouble calculating the angles to bring the guns to bear as the luddite faction among them ...had 'set the computers free.' Things did not look good for the admiral.


It was clear that the only escape possible would be through the use of drugs and alcohol. This was a technique with which Rasputin was quite accomplished. He had been saving a mega hit of what was reported to be a chemical clone of Sandoz acid for just such an eventuality.
It was an interesting trip - note new picture of our hero.

It was a powerful hit of acid, for a while Rasputin's persona became confused with Christopher, an anti Pope from 903-904. He was not certain if this was a past life or simply a confusion of spirits. After this episode passed Rasputin discovered his inner dog which unfortunately chased him around for an ugly twenty minutes.
Eventually the inner dog tired and went off to sniff a fire hydrant giving Rasputin time to get into another frame of mind. This time he chose an ornate goldleaf.

The ready made frame proved to be an irresistible opportunity for Cheryl Langley, an assistant district attorney with a smoldering ambition for elected office. Before he was fully down, Rasputin was arrested and under interrogation for most of the unsolved crimes in Carroll County. This was not a groovy way to end an... acid trip, Rasputin protested, as he offered to sign Cheryl's petition to get on the ballot.

"If only you were a republican," Cheryl said. "besides, as a convicted felon you'll lose your vote."
"But I'm a member of the carrot party - it's like the tea party, but better for you." Rasputin knew he was grasping for straws, but maybe he'd find the one that took out the camel.
Having shown enough of her softer sid...e, the ambitious ADA said, "You know where you can stick your carrot."

Rasputin who had been known to swing in many directions, some simultaneously, was no stranger to vegetable sex; still this interrogation, even though lengthy, had to be considered a first date. Naked frolic which included vegetables, no matter how nubile the eggplant, was not something he did without knowing all the p...articipants well. After all, he did have some standards.

Still, he sensed there was more than a casual insult in Cheryl's remarks and wondered if this might lead to a rapprochement with her, and more importantly getting him out of this jail. After all his invasion was scheduled soon, and once he again knew what day it was, he would know exactly how soon.

Chapter 6 but who's counting?

In a move that dazzled even himself, Rasputin transferred the 'Fleas of Jesus' to a woman named Joan, another fictional character who was better equipped to assist them in their mission. With the invasion less than a month away Rasputin set up a command center in the remains of what had once been a movie theater located in downtown Farmville.

The theater, once named the Bijou, had been built in downtown Farmville in 1928. Over the years it had been a movie theater, an Elks Lodge, a movie theater again this time playing x rated films at midnight (with usherettes who wore pasties and g-strings) and finally a bingo parlor. Abandoned for eight years it had be...en inhabited by a family of raccoons who negotiated to keep the balcony when Rasputin moved in.

Vowing to get the revolution back on schedule, Rasputin dressed up in his band leader's uniform only to realize that the supplier had mislabeled the package and that he was now an admiral in the Italian Navy. Even worse, the sailor's suits were cute, and well cut, but not appropriate for brass instruments.

The Admirals uniform fit as though it had been tailored for Rasputin, though there was a bit of trouble with the hat That was to be expected though, and a couple of holes could accommodate his ears. For a few minutes he imagined himself of the bridge of his flagship cruising the Med. It could be a grand life, perhap...s better even than the headaches which would come once he assumed the throne of Farmville.

Being an admiral had its perks, though the residents of farmville were a little slow to salute. This caused Rasputin to spend a little time contemplating which gestures acknowledging his rank and power he would like to instill in his subjects. The single finger would be easiest but was not at all what he had in mind,... the kowtow was a little too extreme except when he was especially beneficent.

Being an admiral had its downside too Rasputin discovered when he was informed that Italy was on the verge of a war with Albania over fishing rights and other issues which had been simmering for eight hundred years, and that he was expected to take his ship into the middle of a minefield to show that they would not be intimidated.
"There has been a mistake," he said.
"No mistake," said his adjutant who ushered him to the bridge of a battleship which was suspiciously devoid of sailors.

Alone on the bridge of a battleship headed for a minefield, Rasputin tried to alter course, but found the rudder locked. In an attempt to stave off panic he ran in circles until he bumped the engine controls and discovered that be could control course by reversing one of the engines.Though a cumbersome way to steer a ship, he had a large body of water to experiment in and decided he would attempt to bring the massive warship back to farmville to support his revolution.

The list of things Rasputin didn't know about battleships, the ocean, and navigation would put a strain on the servers at Wikipedia. The gps would not take Farmville as a destination. Eventually he spotted a cruise ship on the horizon and decided to follow it. Now knowing where he was going, Rasputin went below to look for the wine cellar.
Unfortunately the battleship was faster than the cruise ship and the distance between them narrowed rapidly.